Six years in the IAS!

On reflection, I remember myself carrying a newspaper in my arms as I walked for my duty in the hospital, daring to study for the UPSC when, in the words of my husband – my GK was ‘not zero, but in the negative’; and many who said ‘UPSC nahi baccha karo’. Professional, married, settled, why, impossible, unfathomable, crazy, impractical, ineligible, selfish, people-pleaser : many of the words that were used by many to tell me how totally stupid this whole idea of writing this exam was. It took me 8 hours when I started, to only read a newspaper. I was reading one after at least ten years! I was shocked to see terms like the repo rate (and I remember thinking ab yeh reverse repo kya hai. I read a book and then read a simpler one to get the hang of the first. Now when I think about it, it WAS crazy. A handful of friends who did not believe in me but loved me and did not care for their beliefs are the ones who got me through this – how I value and treasure and cherish their showing up for me always. I mean, get this:For my UPSC interview, which I was sure I would fail, seven friends came to Delhi with me just to say ‘You go, girl’ and to ensure the saree that I was trying for the first time in life was proper. I don’t know until today what I did to get so lucky in love.

But, after all these years, what UPSC has taught me is this :

Behind the scenes – A film of, for and by community

We had initially laughed at the mere thought of a government office producing a film. Sitting in the Integrated Tribal Development Project (ITDP) office, our team discussed if there was anything we could do about what was happening that year at Pune International Film Festival (PIFF). PIFF had kept a separate theme of tribal culture for its 2021 festival and asked people to submit entries for documentaries in various categories. I just randomly talked about it with the office team and told them to check if we can do something that showcases what an amazing culture tribal people had in various aspects. While there is always focus on malnutrition and poor health indices, we were witness to some amazingly modern and simple ways in which this community solved their issues, lived close to nature and made the world a better place.

It was then pure serendipity that I was introduced to a health worker of Zilla Parishad, Amravati who directed films as a hobby and had done a few health documentaries before. I told him we did
not have more than fifty thousand rupees and in that, I would like to do two documentaries – one on medicinal culture, and the other on modern practices of this ‘conventional’ tribe. To my surprise, he accepted.

How (twin) motherhood really is: A letter for SS

My darling S&S

You guys – you and I both (yes yes, I mean three people but I don’t know what word can I put there) turned a full year old this week. How sad and exciting! I want to see both of you grow up but I also want you to be this little and give me those kisses every time you wake up from your nap. I want you to leave mumma so that she can finally read(or write) that book, do that course, go on that field visit. But I also want you to ask for mumma every time you need something and see your eyes light up when you find her in the crowd. I promise you, my eyes will sparkle for you always, no matter how old you are. Mumma is and will be your biggest fan, friend and cheerleader.

I thought of writing all gooey-lovey things for you today, but as I sat crying in the car a day before your birthday, I decided to tell a different story.