I want to tell my readers at the outset that this post, this article in continuity of the last one, is not supposed to be your motivation. It should not be. And there is a reason for it.
There is a lot of difference between Motivation and Discipline. Motivation may start you off, help you on a given day, in a given moment; but Discipline – the Habit, my darling, is what me and you should be looking for, striving for, working for.
“Inspiration is for amateurs”, said Chuck Close, “the rest of us just show up and get to work.” Last week, I was reading a query sent to me by a gentleman – via email – in which he told me that this was his fourth attempt to the exam, and asked how should he take out the fear of failure out of his mind? Aah, that, my mind said in a nostalgic tone. I think this is a question that a lot of us had/have, but we deal with it in different degrees of resilience.
Look, nobody told you that studying for Civil services was going to be a piece of cake. We all know the competition, we know the syllabus and we know that there is an opportunity cost to doing this in life, no matter what your age. We know that there is no definite answer to whether or not we will go through this exam. What happens if we fail? What happens to our image in the society, what happens to our image in our own eyes?
Yogesh dada – an amazing doctor I met at an NGO, told me once that so many times we look up and the problem is so big that the magnitude of it – the sheer volume of difficulties, problems and obstacles – makes us unconscious. And then, if we aren’t conscious, there is no one standing to solve the problem!
What, then, is the solution? Is there even one?
Now, metaphorically, let us assume that if you have to walk the road up to LBSNAA, it is a journey of 50,00,000 steps. Maybe it is less or more for you depending on where you are starting from. All you have to do, each day, is to get up and walk 50 steps. And remember that every time you think of the entire long journey, you lose focus of what is in sight and you will end up walking only 10. That isn’t what we want, right? Have the discipline – no matter what happens, you walk 50 steps. Listen to me, my dear. You cannot question your effort, your decisions, your central beliefs every day and every moment. You made a choice, now lock it, put it in a tiny little corner of your mind, and throw the key away. Once you do that, you forget the destination and the distance – you remember only the hard work that you need to do each day. Get up in the morning – work – sleep. Repeat each day until you finish the 50,00,000 steps.
What if I fail? So you fail. What? Really, so what? The world will run, and you wouldn’t believe me now, but so will your life. You will find something amazing to do in your life – something that will be purposeful, joyous and deeply satisfying. And you know why? Because you fought with your fears instead of giving in to them. What you should be really afraid of are the regrets. Those, will haunt you for your life.
One day, when I was walking back from the library to my house, I was very depressed. I though it is better that I give up because there is no way possible this will happen. I mean, look at me, haven’t read a newspaper in ten years and I want to give the IAS exam! But then my mind drifted towards the alternate version of my life. I thought if I give up, how would I ever tell my children or students to never give up in life? How will I ask them to dream radically and work hard in the face of every possible adversity? What if I was supposed to be a writer or a journalist or a social worker and that would not be possible without preparing for this exam or experiencing everything it brings along with it? You cannot give up now, Mittali, I told myself when I opened the door of my house.
This was one brave moment of my life. There were many weak ones. I battled with a lot of self-doubt. I battled with two failures. Many people around me thought I can never do it. Some were indifferent, some very supportive. But there was only one best friend I had. That was me.
You have got to be your own saviour. In Civil services, as in life, the real battle is taming your mind. You know, your mind is going to listen to only you. When I try to tell it something, it laughs. But you – my God! You wonderful being! Your mind worships what you say. It thinks you are this amazing person who it will follow blindly, no questions asked. What did you just say? That no matter what, you will find a way? Well, your mind is on it! It will not leave a single stone unturned to fulfil your wishes. Did you say it is not possible? Your mind is happily going to fulfil your prophecy!
Train your most prized follower, your mind. Stop it when it drifts. Calm it when it is angry. Ask it to be at peace with itself. There is contentment not in achievement, my dear, there is contentment in hard work. You get to have that – take it with open arms and an open mind. You are so lucky!
A few things that I want to say : (in addition to the lengthy things I just said:D)
- Until this fight is not over, it is not over. Nobody cares whether it is your third attempt or thirtieth. If you are enjoying the journey, who cares? Don’t compare your effort with someone else’s. In this exam, everyone begins from a different starting point. It might take you longer to reach there, but Persist!
- Try taking up a job after a few attempts and study with it so that it makes you less anxious and less insecure.
- If you are in a job already, well, let me tell you it can give you many advantages. More about this, in the next article where I want to take up Civil services and Working professionals relationship. (I cleared while I was working.)
- If you are not working, don’t be complacent. It is very easy to think you have too much time and then you wile away all that time in that happiness. Don’t be that person.
- SHUT OFF social media. I was not on Facebook, or twitter or Instagram. No WhatsApp groups strictly. I only had WhatsApp for individual chats – only because it saved me money! More on this, in a separate article.
I know you think this is difficult. I won’t give you false hopes, it is. I know you think you have very little chance. I agree with you, but I have one last thing to tell you before I sign off. I read it somewhere, and this kept me going every time I thought how would this ever happen. This also told me that motivation will not sustain me, discipline will.
“You have one in a million chance of going through and getting what you wish to. But you don’t look at the million. You look at that one chance, you focus on only that one.”
Discipline, Persistence, Faith, Self belief, and a Straight line focus, my warriors! You are all you need and You are amazing!
Ma’am awesome. Thank you for this valuable article. It really helps.
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I am glad! Thank you:)
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This is so Inspiring.Always was instilled by people that it is an exam for the meritorious and from elite institutes,toppers with great academic background.
You simplified everything and made me Believe In Myself That This can be done
Thank You So Much.
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Most welcome, my dear. Always believe in yourself!
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madam.. this is wonderful. from this post, i have learn about discipline and what you quoted one sentence, that’s amazing and true line.
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Thank you Prasad! 🙂
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Thanks for the timely article! Eagerly waiting for the next one ! (Working and UPSC)
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Thank you Vigneshwaran. The next article is up! 😀
Please let me know if you want me to address something else.
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Wonderful Article Maam. Thanks a lot! May the force be with all of us. 🙂
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Thank you Vikram. May the force be with all of us! 🙂
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an absolutely fabulous article…plz do write on the social media thing…thank you so much for this ma’am…
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I sure will, Jewa! Thank you:)
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Hello Didi(if I can call you that)!
1- I absolutely love the title of your blog.
2- Even though I am not preparing for UPSC(my sister is), this article gave me a renewed insight on how to go about the challenges of life.
3- I’ll come back for more.😀
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Such a loving comment, thank you!
0. You can absolutely call me didi! I would love that!
1. Thank you!
2. I am glad! 😀
3. Please do, I will be waiting! 🙂
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Brilliant. I feel so motivated right now. No wait…..
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I am glad! 🙂
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You are a very beautiful person that I can guess having seen your articles !!! the best part is that you reply to everyone that reminds me of Varun Kumar rank- 3 few years back… may god give you everything you want…
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Pingback: Civil Services and a Job - Chasing your dreams while working: Mittali Sethi AIR 56, UPSC CSE 2016 - INSIGHTS
There is contentment not in achievement, there is contentment in hard work.
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🙂
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Amazing article, Very inspiring and simple step to put on to our personal diary. I will try my level best to follow your footstep. thank you
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Thank you and all the best! 🙂
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Thank you madam Seriously this article pushed me ahead in my thoughts of clearing one of the toughest exams while working. I accidentally came across this blog. Had a really good read.
Looking forward for the next pearls of wisdom.
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Thank you Lahari! Glad it could help! 🙂
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Thank you mam.
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Most welcome, Govind! 🙂
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The best part. –
“Motivation may start you off, help you on a given day, in a given moment; but Discipline – the Habit, my darling, is what me and you should be looking for, striving for, working for.”
Thanks for the inspiring article maam
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Most welcome, Kaushal:)
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very true. we Cement industry consultant in Mumbai agree with your thoughts.
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Thank you for this wonderful article…..
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Most welcome, Mandy! 🙂
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Thank you so much Maa’m for sharing your thought:-)
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Most welcome, Amar!:)
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Thanks a lot for this wonderful article mam.being a working professional I found this article truly motivating and cleared many of my doubts.will go ahead with my preparation without any fear of losing..
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Glad it helped, Geethanjali! Love your name:)
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Mam,how you managed the time after coming back from work?plz share ur time table..
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Hey. Please check out the #3 on this blog, that should help.
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Mam which coaching you joined for your preparation.
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None, joined only test series of Vision and Insights.
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Mam!
All these days I was questioning myself for motivation….
Thanks for letting me realize that ,it is the Disipline that lacks in me…
It really helps…
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So glad it does, Rama! All the best:)
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Thanks a lot MAM for such a wonderful motivation. Could you please tell me what should I do to reach a decent level of answer writing as I think level of mine is not so good… Pls comment on this mam… I would be highly obliged to you.
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Dear Prawin,
Thank you! Answer writing is a skill that comes only with time and practise. See if this helps:
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-improve-my-writing-skills-for-the-UPSC-1/answer/Mittali-Sethi?srid=lPIF
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Wonderful piece of writing ma’am!! I have been preparing for upsc for the last one year as a working professional in government sector. 2018 would be my last attempt so it’s like ambition in one hand and poison in other (of course not to suicide 🙂 ) to end the journey of upsc. I have been looking for a mentor like you and by god’s grace I found you thanks to insights. I hope you will keep adding fuel to burning desires of aspirants like us.
Thanks a lot ma’am 🙂
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Manoranjan, be positive, okay? And more importantly, enjoy the journey! You will have only good things in your future. My best wishes:)
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Thanks
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Most welcome:)
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It was really inspiring to read your articles madam especially me myself being a married woman with a 2 year old daughter
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Thank you Anusree! You are a wonder woman! Much love to you and your daughter!:)
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Thanks mam for this wonderful article. cleared a lot of doubts and filled me with the light of positivity and hope.Title is so attractive.
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So glad it helped Jose! Thank you:)
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Reblogged this on Kaniel Outis.
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Thank u mam.your article provided me with the energy to pursue my dreams
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So glad it did. Persist!:)
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Mittali di ? Are you kinda angel or something , no I Seriously want to know.
I had such a long day with test discussion for 5 hours at a stretch and a GS 3 mock , I was drained and lost, the horrible paper I gave!
And I get to read this 🙂
Thank you di! You know this means more than just thank you.
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Thank you for the kind words, Sahithya! Hope you are standing like a rock – all strong!
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What a awesome quoete it is !!! Discipline-the habit, my Darling. Who can dare to say Darling to discipline? Mam, You are such a wonderful creation of god. You are so honest because you are replying to each & every comment, also through every mail of individuals. What a amazing thought process you have !!! Please be stay with us in this long & beautiful journey.
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I will try my best! 🙂
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Thank u very much for sharing this awsome experience , all the best!!!
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Most welcome and thank you so much! 🙂
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Thank you very much for writing this wonderful article. Few of the lines that touched me immensely are copied below. Some of thoughts that are deep rooted in one’s mind but wont come out, had brought out by this article of yours.
Thanks once again for your enlightening words.
“Listen to me, my dear. You cannot question your effort, your decisions, your central beliefs every day and every moment. You made a choice, now lock it, put it in a tiny little corner of your mind, and throw the key away. Once you do that, you forget the destination and the distance – you remember only the hard work that you need to do each day.”
“I thought if I give up, how would I ever tell my children or students to never give up in life? How will I ask them to dream radically and work hard in the face of every possible adversity?”
“You have one in a million chance of going through and getting what you wish to. But you don’t look at the million. You look at that one chance, you focus on only that one.”
“Discipline, Persistence, Faith, Self belief, and a Straight line focus, my warriors! You are all you need and You are amazing!”
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Glad it could resonate.:)
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Hi maam thank you so much for sharing this .. I’m working and preparing for UPSC after I read ur arcticle I’m boosted my self got so much positive energy enthusiasm .. Thank you..! Raj
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Respected Ma’m….
I read your article every time i feel down and under confident….
I kept reading interviews of toppers for motivation but after I read your blog, I have become slightly calm and composed , silently preparing for UPSC, without thinking much about the result & failure.
Thank you so much for the wonderful article.
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Thanks di, such great article i realy like this one please continue such great inspiration for othrs
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Most welcome. 🙂
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Thank you Kushal. 🙂
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Pingback: Conquering the battle in the mind – Ashish Ranjan's Blog
Reblogged this on Asocial-Introvert's Blog.
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Loved the way u talked about brain being ur best follower and it will fetch u whatever you ask … I really believe that.. thank u for this beautiful article..
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Most welcome. 🙂
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Ma’am i am your biggest fan on the earth. I really love you . Your words are like those sent by god to me.
And what all you write is like you are standing in front and conversing with me.
I would love to meet you in future. Thanks for this motivation. love you
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Love you back! 🙂
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Thank you so much Didi for clearing things for me. I’m a working woman who was really confused regarding how to go about achieving my dream.. But your article truly inspired me and has also squarely hit the nail on the head.
Congratulations on your success!! 😃😃
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Thank you ma’am for this article as it has really overturned my perspective of this exam. I was filled with a lot of fear, self doubt and what not that I’m sure, most of the aspirants feel similarly. Being stuck in a viscous cycle of over-thinking whether I’m doing the right thing or did I make an extremely ambitious decision, your article has been the light, showing me the way.
I’m sure I’m coming back to reading this when I feel astray during the course of preparation.
Thank you so much & Kudos to you! 🙂
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…classy..felt as if you were sitting in front of me…..thanks
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…classy..felt as if you were sitting in front of me…..
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Dear Ma’am
i am pursuing my PhD in chemical engineering ………….. your words are really motivational for me and for everyone not for UPSC but at any moment in life
Thanks a lot for such a wonderful article
after reading this article i promise myself i will work hard for my PhD but as well for my ultimate goal which is to become a Indian Forest Officer
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I read what I needed at the moment. Thanks
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thank you so much…..
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